Well, today been a bit of a mad one haha, so let’s just dive straight in. Woke up feeling like an absolute boss, like today was gonna be one of those days, you know? Turns out, I wasn’t wrong
First off, had to move my car because I forgot to move it from the parking suspension police aha. Ended up getting into a little dust up with some geezer over parking in front of a hotel hehe
Mate, I’m not being funny, but I was only there for like 30 seconds, and this guy was giving it the big one. Like, who are you? The parking police? Anyway, we had a few words but I wasn’t about to let some random dude ruin my vibe
Next up, swung straight by Greggs for that early sausage bap, but, classic Greggers, I couldn’t pay on card there again. Thought about walking away and finding something else, but then I was like, nah, I’m not being beaten by a Greggs mate. Persistence pays. So I legged it to another one, finally got my sausage bap and a latte, feeling victorious. A little win for us, but I’ll take it
Then the day took a real sharp turn. I Got the news that a good friend of mine passed away. That hit hard, properly gutted. It’s mad how fragile life can be isn’t it? You never really know when it’s the last time you’ll see someone. Rest in peace mate. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. Life moves forward, but that doesn’t make it any easier
Then straight up to therapy, and once again, blew my mind. Turns out, the people who’ve been dodging me hehe, just aren’t ready to face their own issues, they just have an inability to handle a situation. So turns out, it’s not always about me (wahey, newsflash here). I went in expecting some solid psychoanalysis answers, ended up coming out with a whole new perspective
While I used to take it personally, recently, all I get is pure confusion more that anything. Like, wait, why wouldn’t you just talk this out?
Maybe it’s because I’ve realized that this behavior is their issue not mine. They’re not ready to deal with whatever they’re avoiding, and that’s not something I can fix for them turns out lol. I just hope, for their own growth they can face it someday. We’re all learning and I know I’ve had to sit with my own uncomfortable stuff to grow too
It can feel easier to shut it out than to engage in a difficult or uncomfortable exchange I guess, and kinda makes sense now. Had me questioning a lot, especially about who’s really there for you when things get patchy and will end up doing a runner lol, but, as a mentor said, they’re the ones hurting, so I’ll pray for them
I also learn stuff around the super ego and then primal needs with the ego, trying to balance the two. But for me, I’ll do what I want to do, not what society expects or a group/community expects. Sometimes my ego steps aside, and my primal side takes the lead, and that’s where the BPD kicks in. It’s not about fixing things, but there’s this drive to confront and clarify and I’ll just ignore everyone and go for what I want. Turns out there’s a grey area space that I need to live in a bit more lol
After that, straight into a business meeting about this app I’m working on. I’m proper excited for this project, I can feel the potential. Meeting went well, and I’ve got this sneaky feeling something big is about to happen. Just gotta keep pushing on it as always and put the action in
Then I dove straight into some website work and other bits as usual. Feels like I’m juggling like ten things right now, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Productive grinds and honestly right now, I’m thriving on it. I’m in this proper weird flow state at the moment and I kinda like it
Then came boxing training. I’ve got two fights lined up for November, so I’m RIGHT in the thick of it now. Todays session was absolutely fire, feeling fast, sharp and ready, the coach was even like, that was impressive, just some extra work around my back leg crossing, and also it was only my first session at this gym, wahey
But, for me, it’s also not just about the fight, it’s also about the mindset behind it and the discipline and pushing the body and the mind as far as it can go, I guess I kinda get like that with tattoos too. Can’t wait to get in that ring and get that adrenaline baby
Saw J too, she’s an absolute legend, always has me laughing my head off
Gonna be seeing A tomorrow, which should be a laugh. And come Friday, I’ll be out with K for a few drinks. Obviously I don’t drink for a whole number of reasons haha, but it’ll be nice to meet properly. Thinking about dropping by this pub I’ve had my eye on, lowkey, but who knows what’ll happen, fun fun fun
It’s also been nice speaking to B, N and M recently, it’s nice when conversations just flow and looking forward to some future plans with them
And for some extra fun, I’ve got an escape room planned with other some mates next week. Should be a good laugh and something different. Plus parkrun I’ve never done before, an ADHD coaching interview thing tommorrow
Plus I get to launch a couple of things I’ve got some experts that made for us, which is gonna be super cool for my business and earning some passive cash, so proper stoked for that
So yeah, today was an interesting one, started with a random argument, hit me with some tough news, got my mind blown in therapy, then threw in some business wins and boxing action to round it off
Through all of that, I’m feeling solid, buzzing even, and I’m down to 73kg, so like I’m down 8kg since I last weighed myself months and month ago. So I’m down to my trimmed up fighting weight already, after being in the gym a lot already, and we’ve got tons loads of time to go
Gonna end up being the most shredded I’ve ever been. Holy balls
Bring on tomorrow baby