So there I was, standing on the edge of a platform at Ben Nevis, looking down into a canyon that seemed to stretch into the very depths of hell. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears, and I was pretty sure my ex girlfriend was secretly filming my impending doom and hoping she’d get a phat payout, rather than jumping alongside me. But hey, at least she was there to support me, right?
You see, she wasn’t about to take the plunge, and I don’t blame her tbh. Some people enjoy the thrill of a bungee jump, others prefer to sip hot chocolate and watch from a safe distance, preferably with a cozy blanket. That was her, sitting back, cheering me on like a very supportive spectator at a high-stakes circus act. Honestly, I appreciated it. Who else was going to capture my moment of glory (or impending disaster) on camera?
As I stood there, teetering on the edge like a simp, I started to wonder if I was truly sane. I mean, who in their right mind would willingly dive headfirst into a canyon while pretending they were dying? That’s a weird sensation folks. You get all the adrenaline, the rush, and for a split second, you question every life choice that led you to this very moment.
“3… 2… 1… Bungee!” the instructor yelled, and suddenly I had to leap off and plummet toward the ground, screaming like a banshee. The wind whipped past my face, and the blood straight to my legs, and as I fell, I had this bizarre out-of-body experience where I could almost hear my own thoughts saying, “What the hell are you doing?!” I’m pretty sure the squirrels at the bottom were looking up, thinking, “What a twat, you paid for this?”
Now, let me digress for a moment, because my little old ADHD brain just can’t help it. You know, bungee jumping reminded me of that time I went to the Grand Canyon, oh boy, what a place! Can we talk about how the hell they got a cable car in the middle of a canyon though actually at Ben Nevis? I mean, who had that brilliant idea? “Hey, let’s build a metal cart on a string over a gigantic hole in the ground!” If I had to guess, someone with a serious disregard for safety
I can just picture the construction meeting: “Okay, folks, we need to get people across this massive gorge. How about we dangle them from a cable? What could possibly go wrong?” Spoiler alert: everything! I felt like an ant being carried by a giant into the sky. But back to the bungee
The initial drop was the craziest thing ever, and you know that sensation when you’re falling in bed, well imagine actually doing it and being ALIVE for it, and then I was yanked back up by the bungee cord like a rag doll on a string thinking I hope this wraps round my neck (jokes).
I swung back and forth over the canyon, half excited, half terrified. My heart raced, and I could hear my own thoughts screaming, “Am I alive? Did I just become a human yo-yo?!”
You know, it’s funny how our brains work. In the middle of my existential crisis hanging over the edge of the abyss, I was reminded of how much I hate heights but love thrill of adventure. But sometimes, I think, “What if I just fell in?”
Honestly, I have a video somewhere that captures the pure chaos of it all. I’m pretty sure I can relive that moment anytime I want, except now I have the benefit of hindsight, where I can laugh at myself instead of flinging myself into the physical abyss (the mental abyss I’m there quite often)
So, would I do it again? Absolutely. There’s something exhilarating about facing your fears, even if it means toddling to the edge while doing it. Thanks to my ex for supporting me through this madness, even if she didn’t join in, her cheers echoed in my head as I free fell into adventure. Just remember, folks: if you ever consider a bungee jump, it’s all fun and games until you realize you’re actually pretending to die for fun! 🪂💥
And if you’re ever in the area, make sure to take a moment to appreciate the sheer beauty of nature
