I’m about to spit some truths about cheaters who, after getting caught, hit you with that classic line of “It didn’t mean anything.” Trigger warning: it meant everything
For those who’ve been cheated on
Risking It All
When someone cheats on you, it’s more than just lying 100%, they’re risking your health, your safety, and your emotional wellbeing. They’re bringing home STDs (some that are completely incurable), along with the shame, humiliation, and betrayal that comes with them. And let’s be absolutely 100% clear, your partner did not consent to that risk. They didn’t sign up to have their body and health gambled with. Cheating like that is physical abuse, plain and simple.
Emotional and Financial Neglect
Your partner also spent time, money, affection, and resources on someone else while you were sitting at home, waiting for even a crumb of attention. That’s proper emotional neglect, and emotional neglect is well, erm, abuse. Oh, and all that money they spent on their affair partners, gifts, or dates? That’s financial abuse. They took what should have been family or mutual resources and wasted it on people they claim “didn’t mean anything.”
But here’s the truth, if they didn’t mean anything, why did your partner put so much effort into them? Spoiler: because they DID mean something
They didn’t just lie to you—they lied to themselves, too. Your partner turned their back on you, withheld affection, and treated you as unimportant, all while maintaining a double life. It’s disrespectful, controlling behavior, and guess what? That’s abuse
To those who’ve been the “Other Person”
I’ve been on the other side too, the one cheating with someone. And let me tell you, that feels awful in a completely different way. In some cases, I’ve said that they need to break up before anything would happen. And, sometimes, you don’t even realize you’re the “other person” until you’re already in too deep which has happened before. But when you do, the guilt hits hard. You realize you’ve been part of someone else’s betrayal, even if unintentionally
Being the “other person” doesn’t feel like some kind of win. It’s not flattering. It’s not exciting. It feels disgusting when you realize you’ve hurt someone who didn’t deserve it. The worst part? You’ve likely been lied to as well. You’re left to deal with the guilt, regret, and the fact that you were used just like their partner. Trust me, it sticks with you. It’s a heavy lesson in boundaries and respecting yourself
Emotional Manipulation and Lies
When someone cheats, it’s not just the infidelity, it’s the lies, gaslighting, and emotional manipulation that wreck you. They talk behind your back, paint you in a bad light, make you out to be less important in their life than they promised you were. Then, they turn around and act like they’re committed and faithful. But they’re not, they’re pretending. When they cheat, they erase your existence, and that’s not love. That’s control, and it’s abuse
They deny you the right to make informed decisions about your own life. By pretending to be committed when they’re not, they steal your ability to choose what’s best for you. And that is the ultimate betrayal
Step up or step out
For the cheaters out there, you’re leaving behind a trail of destruction. Your partner committed themselves to you because they loved you. They didn’t sign up for the emotional manipulation, neglect, or the pain that you’re causing. Your actions affect their entire world, because you’re the closest person to them. It’s time to stop lying to your partner and yourself
Cheating is a big deal. It’s important. And it’s time to acknowledge that it did mean something. It meant everything
Healing on both sides
Whether you’ve been cheated on or found yourself in the role of the “other person,” both sides leave scars. The emotional weight, the betrayal, and the realization of what’s really happening can feel overwhelming
I can assure you, the first step toward healing is acknowledging the truth of what happened. Your pain is valid, and you have the right to heal from this. Cheating hurts everyone involved.
And remember, no matter which side of the situation you’ve been on, you’re not defined by it. You can choose how you want to move forward, and that’s where your power lies
Coincidently, this goes out to me first ever proper partner, you absolute toad you ;D
