So, yesterday was a big day for me, I finally got my ADHD coach! 🎉

Honestly, what a relief! It’s like finding that long lost sock you swore was gone forever, but instead, it’s actually helping me organize my chaotic brain to fuck. And wow, I’m already feeling the effects. Day three of not taking my ADHD meds, and let me tell you, my sense of humour is back with a vengeance. I’m cracking jokes like a stand up comedian at an open mic night—though, you know, with more awkward pauses and less audience approval. So it’s nice now having that ADHD coach for the business and just in general, and the overall relief is huge.

But here’s the kicker. I had this life changing moment regarding my goals yesterday. Like, “holy grail” level stuff, but of course, I can’t share the juicy details yet. Welcome to the glamorous world of solopreneur life, where you’re dying to tell your mates about your wins, but also no one really gives a fuck, so I’ve been keeping it down-low like it’s a secret mission from MI6. Just know I’m bubbling with excitement and may burst into confetti at any moment. However, it feels weird not being able to celebrate with anyone properly, and it’s something I’d usually share with a partner as it would change stuff in the relationship for the better. meh

Also, big shoutout to B for chatting today! It’s been nice connecting and sharing laughs, who knew a simple convo could feel like therapy (or at least a cheaper version of it)?

Speaking of therapy, it got me good yesterday. holy balls. Apparently, all I needed to do was tell my mum I love her more and poof, all my problems would vanish into thin air! Wow, I should’ve known it was that easy. I could have saved a fortune on therapy sessions. Next week, I’ll be floating on cloud nine just by calling my mum. Nah jokes, it’s difficult for me to do, but we’ll get there

And let’s not forget about my ongoing feud with the council tax people. WOW. Just to keep things nice and spicy, I racked up another two parking fines today, adding to my ever growing collection of 150+ fines. Yup, I’m a certified bad boy now. 😎 I’ll be sure to write a whole post about that soon. Seriously, at this rate, I might as well start a parking fine support group

On a more thoughtful note, I’ve been thinking about M today. I hope she’s doing alright you know. I still don’t really understand how we got to this position from like love, to blocking each other lol. I was doubting if she really loved me and maybe it was all just a manipulation, but my therapist kicked some sense into me and said, what if you believed what she said. I know she cared, and maybe I was just too tangled up in my head to see it clearly

I’m also learning loads about attachment styles, and wow, turns out I’m an anxious one! I’m pretty sure I’m avoidant, who knew my emotional rollercoaster could actually qualify for a theme park? 🎢 Time to flip the script and transform into a secure attachment style with the work we’re doing, aint gonna let that shit do me, for my future partner or me

Now, about this dating life of mine, hmm, I feel like I should be out there, swiping right like it’s my job, but honestly, I just don’t feel it. It’s like my heart hit the pause button, and I’m not sure if it’s because I’m still processing things with M or if I’m just not vibing with anyone else. My therapist thinks it’s a sign of something shifting in me, and I can’t decide if that’s good or just a clever way of saying, “You’re a mess, but we’re working on it!”

However, my therapist says something is changing for me, and honestly, I’m here for it. I just hope it’s for the better and not just my inner weirdo saying, “Let’s make things even more complicated!” Here’s to embracing the chaos and seeing where this wild ride takes me

Aaron

Quit drink 23 July 2021 after a two-day bender and swapped bars for border crossings and 12-step meetings. Three sober years, 36 countries (13 travelled totally dry), fuelled by street food, jelly babies and a quick meditations (mostly panic meditations). Words in Mirror, Evening Standard, Metro, GQ, and MarketWatch.

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