The Lake District: Farms, lambs, and my ex being a bit of a dick

Lake District, staying on a farm, surrounded by lambs and chickens (which life was intended for), and, because life loves a plot twist, my ex, who was being a bit of a dick.

Now, let’s talk about the Lake District, because honestly, it’s like something out of a movie. You know, one of those calm countryside flicks with sweeping landscapes, but throw in some farm animals for comedic effect. In my case, it was all Al Pacino Scarface vibes… minus the cocaine (that come a shortly after the breakup) but with a lot of fields

First off, lambs are ridiculously cute. These little guys were running around like they had just discovered how to use their legs, completely unaware of the dark world we live in, lucky bastards. And the chickens? Total drama queens, clucking about like they owned the place.

I honestly felt like I’d wandered onto the set of some twisted farm reboot of The Godfather. “You come to me… on the day of my lamb’s birth…”

Now, the actual Lake District itself and stuff? Pretty damn stunning. If you’ve never been, imagine the English countryside cranked up to 11 on the amp. You’ve got massive hills, lakes that look like crispy reflective mirrors, and air so fresh it makes you forget you’ve been inhaling city pollution your entire life.

It’s almost enough to make you say, “What a beautiful place to murder my ex”

Speaking of the ex… let’s just say that staying on a farm with someone who’s acting like they’re starring in their own personal tragedy?

“You can get the girl out of the city, but can you get the city out of the girl?” Apparently not.

That said, despite the tension, the Lake District still delivered. Hiking around, seeing some of the most beautiful landscapes I’ve ever laid eyes on, and feeling like I was part of some secret British wilderness cult was cathartic.

It’s a place where you can just sit on a hill, look out at the water, and go all Godfather Part II on your life’s choices: “I know it was you, Fredo.”

But yeah, would I go back? Absolutely. With a different person next time, preferably. Maybe just me and the lambs. Because at least they don’t have a chip on their shoulder.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top