That Time I Conquered Tough Mudder

So a few years back, a bunch of us decided to do something “healthy”. No, it wasn’t a spa day or a wellness retreat in the Cotswolds (which sounds bloody good right now) we signed up for Tough Mudder! The obstacle course from hell that was somehow marketed as “fun.”

Let me tell you, 26 obstacles and about a million cuts, bruises, and muscle cramps later, it was awesome!

Like, bone crunching, mud slathered, frostbitten awesome. And yeah, only me and M actually did every single one of those 26 obstacles, which I’m happy to say was basically a badge of honor by the end.

Here’s a play-by-play of what it’s like to face down 26 ridiculous obstacles, a ton of mud, and that bit in your head that keeps whispering, “Why, though?”

The obstacles: 26 ways to test your willpower

To really understand the joy-slash-torture that is Tough Mudder, let’s go through a few choice obstacles

1. Kiss of Mud – Crawling under barbed wire through a cold pit of sludge. Start strong, finish with mud in places mud should never go
2. Arctic Enema – It’s not as fun as it sounds hehe. You plunge into ice water, scrambling to get out before your legs quit on you. Still get shivers just thinking about it
3. Berlin Walls – They’re 10 feet tall, and yes, you need a mate to push you up, or at least to scream encouraging things at you
4. Funky Monkey – Monkey bars over water, but greased and spinning. I think the splash when I fell was audible three miles away
5. Everest – Run up a 15-foot quarter-pipe and pray you grab a hand at the top. Me and Mark did it, but let’s just say, only just
6. Electroshock Therapy – Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like. Running through wires that zap you with actual electric shocks

…and that’s only the beginning. There’s also Block Ness Monster, Cage Crawl, Hero Carry, Pyramid Scheme, Mud Mile, and so on. Each one somehow managing to combine mud, physical agony, and group support in a way that makes you feel like you’re living out some bizarre, muddy episode of Survivor.

Running (and Crawling) through 10 miles of fun

The course itself? Ten miles of running between obstacles, where “running” soon devolves into “jogging,” then “power walking,” then “will somebody please carry me please please?” Every obstacle was like a little test of willpower and teamwork, though, and that part was pretty surprisingly cool. We’d all cheer each other on, pull each other up, and occasionally (okay, often) take a five minute breather and just laugh about how we voluntarily signed up for this.

I’ll be real, by the halfway point, I was in survival mode. Everything really hurt, my lungs felt like they’d been proper deflated, and mud had become a second skin. But, weirdly enough, that’s what made it feel so good! Like, it sounds cheesy, but the camaraderie was unreal. Even the people we didn’t know were there, like these random, mud caked heroes, all cheering and struggling with us. It was like every office team building exercise combined but with 80% more dirt and danger.

A couple highlights

• Hero Walls – This was one of those walls where you really need a lift. By the time I reached the top, I was practically on first-name terms with the guy who threw me up there.
• Electroshock Therapy – I saved the best for last (plus it was right at the finishing line). Imagine running through a field of hanging wires with actual electric shocks shooting out of them. I ran, I got zapped, feel down, I probably yelled a bit (or a lot), and yeah,. it was absolutely amazing. In the “I think I nearly died” sense, not in the “I want to do this every day” sense.

The finish line and aquestionable T-Shirt

Somehow, Mark and I made it through all 26 obstacles. And yes, I’ve probably brought that up one too many times since (but hey, bragging rights are forever). We were battered, bruised, thoroughly exhausted, and wearing more mud than I thought was physically possible. Crossing that finish line was one of those surreal moments where the adrenaline overrides all common sense, and you’re just like, “Yeah, I’d do that again.”

There’s something honestly incredible about completing an event like this. I mean, you don’t just walk away with a t-shirt and a beer (though those are nice bonuses); you walk away with this feeling of invincibility. Like, if I can survive getting electrocuted, jumping into ice water, and scaling walls with a bunch of muddy legends, what can’t I handle?

Why Tough Mudder is for everyone (yes, really)

Honestly, I’d recommend Tough Mudder to anyone, even if you’re not a gym junkie or endurance enthusiast. It’s not about speed or strength, it’s about teamwork, grit, and finding out just how much you can take. And let me tell you, the memories are worth every bruise 100%. You get to face all kinds of crazy obstacles, laugh till your ribs hurt, and cross the finish line knowing you didn’t leave a single challenge undone

If you’re looking for a serious test of endurance, one that makes you feel part of something bigger and leaves you with stories to bore your mates with for years to come, just go for it.

Take a leap. Or a crawl. And when you cross that finish line, I promise you’ll understand why everyone keeps coming back for more.

Aaron Mouland

Quit drinking on 23 July 2021 after a two-day bender and swapped bars for border crossings and 12-step meetings. Three sober years, 36 countries, 113 travellers (totally dry), fuelled by street food, jelly babies, and a broken Google Maps app. Wandersober is my journal, my SEO lab, and my mission. Featured in GQ, Mirror, Evening Standard, MarketWatch, and more.

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